Author: Sindhura Saradhi

baby-holding-mother-hand

You may have the wisest of friends, worst of enemies or the best companion for life. Yet the best advice any person can receive is from the oldest friend of all… Mother!

A wise man once told me, “If you want to know how much your parents love you, make a mistake”. I did not dare to commit a crime but for all the complicated versions of my silly faults, she was my saviour at all times.

Every girl will pass through a phase in life, when they consider mother as the biggest enemy, hindrance to independence and a complaint book to dad or doesn’t want her to look beautiful. There is a time in our life, when mother looks like an ignorant brat and all her friendly advice and suggestions, though out of concern, turn out to be reasons fair enough to believe that she hates us.

I know she is old; she can’t use our iPhone, can’t order pizza online or like us on Facebook. However, she has seen enough of life, faced with the same emotions we experience each day from being an ugly insecure teen to the most wonderful mother, from bearing a short-tempered dad to a least-helping husband. She can read our mind and recite it with no commas.

I am a complete feminist, a working woman, yet to be mother, who entirely believes that career is as equally important as family to any woman. I can make myself completely understand that women have changed and their needs have increased in a broader perspective that exceeded geographical borders and continents. We are successful at all levels and proved our worth, far from all restrictions. We have rose above the orthodox thoughts and proved to be equally potential in this extremely viable world.

On the contrary, an analysis into present-day families, with educated and employed woman (mothers), may give a completely different picture. Today’s mothers, who rarely cook and rely on the maid, may not have a daughter who understands the importance of cooking for the family in order to create a lively bond. A working mother, who seldom has time for the kids, will not be able to teach her kids how relations are an integral part of life. Short-tempered, intolerant, adamant mothers can be nothing but a bad example to a daughter who is yet to be a complete woman.

I know the traditions are boring and they are no longer valued in this fake world. However, India, as a nation, is born and brought up by a culture that considers the mother as an equivalent to almighty and an embodiment of patience and tolerance. Yet, the changing time and work culture has created a new definition all-together. We conquered the greatest heights, yet we forgot the basics on which our feet were once and still rested. Social status has always been so important that we rarely have time for the emotional attachment to the kids and family.

Today’s mothers need to question themselves on what is their personal contribution to mould their kids into responsible individuals. We rarely see the emotional attachment but instead there is only a compulsion to accept their offspring as a part of family but not life. The society has been digging so much out of us and we may have lost the warmth and affection that once used to be a born-trait. I agree with people who say that mothers are always the same but what about the clearly-visible change in perspective of today’s mothers.

You need not give up your career and dreams; lose your personal space or stay devoted to being a home maker. Still you can spare time for your family, because when you look back into your life there shouldn’t be an unsuccessful mom who will regret the moments she missed – play-time with her kids, cooking for her husband or an untold bedtime story for her daughter.

On the other hand, an onsite assignment can be an amicable achievement but nothing matters much when your kid can call you a role model and proudly say that in her every step, you were always there. We cannot deny the fact that the degenerating moral values in the society can be partly due to those feminists who are busy enough to imbue some morals into our heads.

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  • Gayatri

    Good one.-
    This topic is like a endless ocean. Each point seems valid and everybody seem correct. At the end of the day, what is more important is that each relation (mother-daughter, father-daughter etc..) has its own demands and sacrifices. Adapting to those demands and circumstances to make sure the relationship survives and strengthens is the key . The question we must ask ourselves is , are we willing to adapt?