Good Old Days of Loving


valentine-day-imagesSometime ago, a friend of mine wished to pen amorous love letters for her dearest. I could not fathom then, but now I understand why she was teased for this idea. “Come on, it’s the 21st century and you are writing letters!” was the usual retort from most of the pals in our group. I was of a different mindset back then and found nothing weird in writing poems for someone you love the most. As we girls are stereotyped to be mushy and overwhelmingly sentimental (something the boys hate about us!), we move away from those old fashioned ways of expressing affection.

We either build a wall to preclude anyone from entering our hearts or gulp down our bonafide feelings just to present a stronger outlook to the society. However, even when ‘romance’ has been redefined and made less emotional, some young hearts in love tend to be swept off the feet by a prince charming. They relish the fragrance of red roses, the aroma of chocolates; dancing under the moon to the tunes of soft music, they like holding hands and walk along peacefully on a beach, sharing a steamy cup of coffee…huh oh…

I long for those good old days of romancing when everyone in love became a Shayar at the touch of tender love. However, love affairs these days start on a social networking site and end with a blunt text message. The current mode of communication is gradually eclipsing the long standing vehicle of conveying love viz. handwritten letters.

The true essence of ‘till death do us apart’ is now limited only to wedding vows. The main culprit in a deteriorating relationship is lack of regular exchange of genuine feelings and romantic gestures. Relationships lack the sheen of innocent passion. A selfless boy dedicating a lifetime for the happiness of a girl who means the world to him, who is his first and only love makes a good content for a book, but has become unusual in the present times. Men and women are more pragmatic these days; they hook up, break up, and patch up so frequently that the erstwhile gusto of being head over heels for a person is extinct.

Image – camerabee

 “You are the answer to every prayer I’ve offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don’t know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have.” Only characters in books such as ‘The Notebook’ utter something as wonderful as these lines. There might be fervent lovers out there, but I can assure that they are so few!

Pouring out your heart in a letter, reading the reply myriad times used to be joys of the good old days of romance. Days when the first kiss would change two lives forever are long gone. We are rapidly losing emotions today; we don’t care for ourselves nor do we care for another soul. When destiny did not favour and lives had to be lived apart, those heart-melting last letters were nothing but harbingers of purity in love.

“I see your limbs in graceful creeping vines,
Your glances in the eyes of gentle deer,
Your eyebrows in the ripple’s dancing lines,
Your locks in plumes, your face in moonlight clear,
Ah, jealous! But the whole sweet image is not here.”

The eloquent way that the great poet Kalidas employed to convey ardent feelings through a forlorn character in Megadhuta brings out the paramount spirit of love. Of course, all of us cannot be bards; making surprise visits to a lover’s house through windows was left long behind in Shakespearean dramas. However, a simple gesture like baking a cake for your spouse or writing an austere letter or just a delightful wish in the morning is enough to nurture love.

old fashioned love
Old Love Letter

Love is madness, a lot of curiosity and a plethora of smiles and cries. Today, all we see is a fleeting fling. As much as we don’t understand ourselves, we fail to discern another person and ultimately this lack of mutual understanding ends in bitter divorces or acrimonious breakups. Don’t we take pleasure in listening to the romantic tales of our grandparents or parents who loved each other to the core of their hearts that they’d rather fight for each other than walk out of the relationship for trivial issues?

Compromise is a missing ingredient in the dish of love where the pungent taste of ego engulfs all others. Desires and individualistic aspirations have overlapped the plain beauty of love. Listening to each other in a relationship is vital, but today couples have no time to exchange their joys and pains. Earlier, a simple ‘I love you’ would mean so much more that it was an agreement for a lifetime partnership. Today, the three magical words carry no weight of responsibility and most of the times when they are uttered they do not actually convey the depth of the subtle words. Despite the lovelorn sentiments, sugary words, flattering songs, poignant days – love is worth it.

Why are we hesitant to love someone in a manner we want? Why don’t we do all the crazy things in love? Most importantly, why are we afraid to fall in love at all? Can we reignite the passion this valentine’s day?

Factfile –

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  1. Yes it definitely was very easy finding real love in the old days compared to today. Quite a real change in the women of today though.


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